For the last two weeks, because of my knee pain and a weird new cough triggered by my standard sleeping position, I have had to figure out a new way to sleep (or be woken up every 60-90 minutes…not fun). So suddenly I am a person who needs: a pillow to put under my knee when I ride in the car or sit in a seat for a long time, a person who needs a full-sized pillow in the car to lean on when she is tired on drives, plus a person who needs, as far as I can figure, the ridiculous amount of 5 pillows to sleep at night. Maybe 6. (“Slut!” says Eric at hearing six)
So I figured this out at home just in time to go to California on a solo trip, where I spent 4 nights in 4 different houses, doing some Midwives Alliance work and seeing two of three sisters & their families. And here is what I wanted to reflect on. Pillows surrounded me in great abundance. I said what I needed ahead of time, and I surfed along on my trip on a sea of cushy lent and gathered pillows that meant I got really good sleep (better than the previous week). This makes me want to cry. I asked, and I got, without fuss, and it was so easy for me. So many people don’t get to have that experience and here I was, surrounded again by love and abundance.
Which I really needed, because from one perspective, the whole 5-day trip was an exercise in physical disappointment and frustration. I was fatigued, noodle-legged, short of breath, quite hoarse, coughed the weird cough, and ran out of all kinds of energy over and over without really taxing myself in a way that would make running out of energy “make sense.” Did you know that when you get off an airplane, the ramp angles upward? It’s a hill. Who knew? I ended up feeling like I had gone on a trip, not alone, but with my body, which was a separate traveler who needed special care from me at all times, kind of like a toddler.
I had real fun seeing my friends and relatives, eating ethnic food, gathering my frustration and anger together in order to really shake Deb’s apricot tree so the ripe fruit would fall down (we harvested 21 pounds of delicious irresistible little apricots), and doing some brain work right after our Midwives Alliance Division of Research phone meetings to pull a meeting report together. (Ahh! Brain power! Traction progress accomplishment!) I did as much walking, or strolling, as seemed reasonable, and it wasn’t nothing. I got caught up on peoples’ lives and had at least one real conversation that I really appreciated. And, to top it off, I ate some really good ice cream. Twice!
(P.S. Yes I am working on figuring out the cough and other new symptoms–appt. with neurologist next Wed.)